If you're new to my blog, here's a run down. I was a single mother for the better part of 15 years. My ex's and I were together for about 5 (combined years) out of those 15 years, though we were never married, I had to do a lot of things on my own, even when we were together. They didn't really invest times in the boys lives. I went to doctor appointments, school events, etc. I'm not complaining by any means on how they were, that's just how they are.
Lately though, I've been reading on Facebook, Twitter, etc about how so many single mothers have NO ONE! No one to help them, take their kids to doctor appointments, or someone to go to school events in their place, or even someone to sit in for them at an IEP meeting.
Even though I do know that it's possible to have no one, it's usually extremely far from the truth.
Single Mothers, please stop playing the oh woe is me card. It's a sign of weakness! Your kids know you're stronger than that and so do I. You're working and taking care of kids, often with no extra help other than babysitters/daycare.
When I hear someone tell me “I can't take off anymore work and I have no one to take my child to the Doctors and they are sick with a temp of 103. Guess I'll just see if it rides out!”
FIND SOMEONE to act on your behalf. While you're sitting here on social media complaining about your child having a temp as an inconvenience to your job, your child is relying on you to take care of them.
I was working 2 jobs and going to college at one point in time and I still made a point to sign a paper that gave my mother permission to pick up my kids from daycare, take them to doctor appointments, or in an emergency; take them to the emergency room.
Stop with the sob stories.
You're a parent, whether by choice or by chance.
It's your duty as a parent, as a MOTHER, to take care of your kids.
I quit a job (I had another one starting up within a week so I wasn't entirely worried) because they told me that I couldn't take the day off to go to my son's surgery for his broken arm. Nope, not going to happen. My mom met me at the hospital. I sat there the entire time, and had to go to my orientation for my new job that was starting the following week. I let them know I was going to the afternoon orientation since my son had surgery. My new job was understanding. The exact words out of their mouth “If you're stressing about your kids, you won't be able to focus at work. Take care of your son. Do you want to reschedule for another day so you can be with your son?” I could have gone another week without orientation, but that would have been a bigger struggle. I didn't. I stayed until my son was released from the recovery room and my mom took him home with her for the day.
My point to all of this is that your kids rely on you to be strong. Whining and complaining will not help your kids. If you need help, ask. I'm pretty sure your family and friends will help you when you actually need it. Playing the sob story constantly won't help you, nor will anyone want to help you.
No one said being a parent was easy. Being a single mother is definitely not a walk in the park, but don't make things harder on yourself than it needs to be. No one gets anywhere in life being negative all of the time. Once I realized that, things started getting better for me.