Children are at an age where they need lots of love and encouragement to grow up into healthy young adults.
This is one thing I'm not afraid to admit that I struggle with. Growing up the only person who really encouraged my brother and I was my mom. My dad was raised with a firm hand and was more authoritative instead of encouraging. So I have tried to be more like my mother, but it's hard. Especially when you've stressed to your children how you expect them to act.
I have a little bit more of the authoritative way of thinking than I would like, but it is definitely something that I'm working on. I do notice however, when my kids are encouraged, they do act a tiny bit better. Just a little bit though. They will often revert back, which is why I'm trying to make a more consistent thing we do in the home. Which isn't always an easy thing to do when you have children with ADHD or ODD. You need to encourage them to develop their own thoughts and opinions.
So here are a few ways you could use to encourage your children.
- Acknowledge their efforts. Most of the time, when we give our children household responsibilities we always forget to let them know that they have done a great job in it. If they didn’t perform their task very well, don’t go straight for the negative criticism. Tell them that they did put in a good effort and give a suggestion in a positive manner. A suggestion given in a kind tone will be taken more positively by your child
- When they have done something great, remember to thank them. This is positive reinforcement and will make them proud of the good things that have done. In addition, you are also cultivating good manners in your children by being a good role model yourself.
- Don't to brush off their problem aside. How often when your children come home complaining about something, you just brush them off by saying that it is nothing? This would make your children feel that their problems are of a trivial matter and not worth their parent’s time. Next time, your children would not bother coming to you with their problem and they will try and suffer their problem in silence. Instead try listening to what your children has to say and be supportive of them.
- Remember to tell always show your love to your children. Tell them that you love them all the time. Give them a hug or a good night kiss before they sleep at night. You would want to encourage your child to grow up to be loving, healthy adults. If you hardly express your feelings to them, your children may grow up being cold and unemotional adults unable to express their feelings. Your love will provide them the encouragement they need when they are sad or feeling discouraged.
- Lastly, remember to encourage your child’s imaginative side by having fun. Have activities together with them and let their imagination take charge so your adults will grow into fun loving adults. So what are you waiting for, don’t wait till tomorrow to start encouraging your kids. Start now!
What types of things do you do to encourage your children?
Have there been times where, no matter how much you encouraged, they still made the wrong decision? What did you do or say?