4 Basic Ways to Encourage Individuality While Providing Structure

by | Oct 14, 2020 | 0 comments

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All parents want their kids to be individuals. They don’t want them to raise them around negative influences that might cause their child to be too easily led off course, making bad decisions and failing to fulfill their potential. Sometimes, when you encourage individuality it can be a bit tricky to also provide the structure that children need also. However, as a parent, you don’t want to be too overbearing, either. You want your child to forge their path in life, and while you’re happy to lend advice and influence, it should always be what they want, not what you want for them.

Sometimes, when you encourage individuality it can be a bit tricky to also provide the structure that children need without being overbearing.
Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash


It is sometimes really hard to allow ourselves, as parents, to let go and let our children decide things on their own. But the nice thing about taking the time out to encourage individuality, is that they often realize, exactly who they are and it makes us prouder as parents of who they are becoming. Trust me, I know it is hard, however, it is necessary.

Ask Their Opinions 

One of the best ways to help encourage individuality in your child is to ask their opinions and challenge them on how they see the world. However, many parents will take this the wrong way and come across as aggressive, which can put your kids off from speaking their minds. I tend to do this sometimes, you have to remember, that it is their opinion. While they may not always fall in line with your opinion, it may help you see from their point of view.

You must remember that your child is still figuring out the world around there, and this means they may have ideas that might not seem right to you. These ideas can come from the type of media they consume or the circle of friends they keep. Rather than admonish them, it would be best to educate them and help them understand other perspectives, which is always crucial when cultivating their individuality. The more exposure they get, the more informed they will be. 

Don’t Force Your Ideals 

Falling in line with asking their opinion, you can not force your own opinion or ideas and expect them to be okay. If you really want to encourage individuality, you have to allow them their own ideals. Despite this, you might still have some thoughts and ideals that they consider old-fashioned. This is perfectly natural and normal, so you mustn’t force anything on them. The same goes for how they want to dress. If they’re going to express themselves by dying their hair or visiting a nose jewelry shop UBJ, then let them. 

Kids can often feel ignored, so this sort of thing can help them feel they will be seen, while also helping them feel they have autonomy over themselves. As a parent, you should allow them to express themselves (without going too far), as this will enable them to explore what works and what doesn’t work for them. 

Help Them Keep Busy 

It’s easy for kids to get into unproductive routines, so you can help keep them busy by recommending they pursue things that seem to interest them. If they show a passion for playing an instrument or dancing, you can get them enrolled in local classes to improve their skills even from an early age. 

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Likewise, they might love sports or creative arts. Encourage them to pursue these hobbies. It will help them from their individuality, molding their personality to something that is truly them. This also gives them an outlet to reduce any stress and frustrations that come from being a teenager growing up and finding their place in the world. 

Standing Out 

We all know kids can be shy and awkward at times, especially when they hit puberty and start to figure out who they are. However, while you encourage individuality it can be hard to allow them to take a stand and maybe even let them stand out from the crowd. As your child grows up they will be more content with themselves because you allowed them to be an individual, making them happier and enabling them to follow their passions throughout life. 

Written by Anna C.

I am a wife and mother of two sons. We live in Rural Northeast Ohio with our 2 cats, 2 dogs & many fish. I love all things Supernatural, Harry Potter, elephants, sunflowers, crystals, occult, crafting, coffee, wine, and online shopping. Have a TikTok, PokemonGo & Elder Scrolls addiction, I've always loved plants, recently I became a houseplant mom, and am currently growing over 15 varieties in our home! Now if I could get my outside gardens to flourish I will be happy. When I'm not tending to the home, pets, plants, or hanging out on the couch catching up on my shows, I'm doing some type of crafting or DIY project. (Or I'm pestering my husband in the barn.)

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