Discussions To Have Before Moving In Together

by | Jan 7, 2022 | 0 comments

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When my husband and I first started dating, We were not expecting things to move as quickly as they did. We didn't really discuss moving in together, it just kind of happened. He started leaving stuff at my place, staying over longer than just overnight, and days turned into a week at a time. I simply just said one day “You may as well just move in. You are here more than you are at home.” and that was it.

Relationships are usually exhilarating, and most people move with the wave rather than making conscious decisions. However, moving in with a partner is a huge step in any relationship, and you should put much thought into it before going through with it. Having those uncomfortable conversations with your partner, addressing any potential differences, and ensuring you are on the same page before living together will result in a happier, and healthier relationship. 

Moving in together can be exciting, scary, and frustrating. Especially if you both own or rent your own places. Sitting down and talking is extremely important.
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

Discussions To Have Before Moving In Together

Moving in together can be exciting, scary, and frustrating. Especially if you both own or rent your own places. Sometimes you have to break a lease, decide on which home you will sell or rent out, or if both of you are living with family still, have to find a place to coexist together. So sitting down and discussing all options is extremely important and necessary. Here are four essential conversations to have before moving in together.

Money matters

Money conversations make most people uncomfortable, especially people in new relationships. Don’t shy away from disclosing to each other how much you earn, your spending habits, and your debts.

Imagine moving in with your partner only to realize all their income goes into paying off debts that you did not know of. Or finding out that they are unwilling to contribute financially to the expenses you will incur together. 

Such late discoveries could jeopardize the relationship you worked so hard to build. Having such discussions early enough helps the both of you to manage their expectations of each other. Transparency about such delicate matters will also help you grow your intimacy as a couple.

Priorities in life

Love is beautiful, more so when your goals and priorities are aligned. So, before taking your relationship to the next level, you might want to determine if your priorities align with your partner’s.

  • What is important to each of you individually?
  • Are you both able to compromise on some issues to find a middle ground?
  • Do either of you want to have a formal wedding, and how soon?
  • What are your feelings about having children, and how soon would you want to have children?

Asking such questions will help you assess if you are ready to take the next step in your relationship. If you cannot find answers to these questions together, you probably might want to slow down and figure things out.

Where to live

As a couple planning to live together, the question of where to live is one of the key issues you should discuss. As a couple, you want a comfortable, suitably located house for both of you and definitely within your budget. It is even more challenging when both of you do not have a real estate background.

The process of selling your house can be long and stressful. It can take months and months to complete the process, from putting on the market to the sale. - keys

Without proper guidance, you could spend too much time searching for housing options and still not get the best available options. Fortunately, in this digital era, you can visit real estate websites to get all the information you need to rent r buy your dream house or apartment.

Close family and friends.

How close is your partner with their family and friends? It is crucial to discuss the closest people in each other’s lives. Living together means interacting with your lover’s friends and family. Having an open discussion about boundaries will ensure both of you can manage your expectations. In a situation where you will be living with each other’s family, both of you will have to assess if you all can get along.


Moving in with your spouse could be the beginning of forever for both of you. Forever is a long time to go in without a plan. Having answers to sensitive questions about your lives together will help you make good choices and build more trust between you and your lover.

Written by Anna C.

I am a wife and mother of two sons. We live in Rural Northeast Ohio with our 2 cats, 2 dogs & many fish. I love all things Supernatural, Harry Potter, elephants, sunflowers, crystals, occult, crafting, coffee, wine, and online shopping. Have a TikTok, PokemonGo & Elder Scrolls addiction, I've always loved plants, recently I became a houseplant mom, and am currently growing over 15 varieties in our home! Now if I could get my outside gardens to flourish I will be happy. When I'm not tending to the home, pets, plants, or hanging out on the couch catching up on my shows, I'm doing some type of crafting or DIY project. (Or I'm pestering my husband in the barn.)

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